This is a really touchy subject. I know tons of people that have been able to stay friends with their exes after breaking up but this is just really not me. If it was a fling that didn't last that long, and it was friends trying out a relationship, I can see where you could remain friends, but if you were in a long term relationship and there was something that drove the relationship apart....there is a reason for that! Most people don't just break up mutually. It is normally because someone did something to the other person to make the relationship irreconcilable. I have been in quite a few relationships were I have been abused or cheated on, so heck no, I would not remain friends with this person after the breakup.
Hubs and I have been together for almost 6 years this summer, and he is best friends with one of my exes. Did this ex do anything to me? No. Was our relationship something that I would reminisce about when I saw him? No. So, this is the only case where I can be friends with an ex. I don't talk to any other ex and there is a reason for it. It is a fine line when the person that you are with, aka my hubs, knows that you had an intimate relationship with their best friend. Does it make it a little awkward? Yes. Also, what makes it more awkward is when the girl he is now serious with says "Thank you for being the one to take my man's virginity back in highschool." Does this make me some kind of floozy? Is she being serious? I don't think I could look someone in the face that had slept with my hubs, let alone see them in the same room with him and not be thinking....how was she with him?
I give props to this girl. She has become a best friend of mine and was there for me throughout my last pregnancy when no one else was. She is also now pregnant by said ex. I have no feelings for him, but it is still an awkward moment when you realize, I slept with my friends fiance. Even though it was way before they got together you still feel this weird twinge of guilt. I know about my hubs past and his lusts with other women, I have been there myself with other guys, but still when you find that "one" that is meant for you....sometimes you wish those other intimate relations would not have happened and that you would have met the "one" sooner.
When it comes to being friends with exes, I think it all depends on the circumstances that the relationship ended. Said ex was the only one that really did not mentally or physically abuse me in any way. We were friends before we tried to date and it just was not something that was meant for us. I am glad that I moved on and had other relationships and that I was brought to my hubs with a long lasting relationship that is meaningful and we have two kids together.
All you have to ask yourself when considering being friends with an ex is.......Did they hurt me? Will I be able to hang out with them without feeling that "hurt"? If you can, then more props to you, but if not move on and find your "one" without the extra baggage.
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